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The Oscars is just too much excitement for me, plus they don’t start til some silly time in the UK…So instead I shall wake up tomorrow, find out who won in about 10 seconds and critique the dresses.

I will want to know:

Who won best actress (please, not Winslet)

Who won best supporting actress (please, not Cruz! Give it to little Amy Adams!)

Who won best actor (let it me Mickey! I want him to dedicate the Oscar to Loki, his deceased Chihuahua)

Who won best film (will it be Slumdog Millionare? That film is painfully painfully overrated, but then again, Benjamin Button is just poop.)

What did Angelina wear?

Did Jennifer Maniston and Angelina have a showdown? Did Maniston present an award whilst the cameras cut to Angelina?

Did Hugh Jackman take his top off?

Answers on a postcard please! I’m going off to sleep!

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