America’s Next Top Model

I admit, I love America’s Next Top Model, even though Tyra Banks it a complete nut job.

“You have so much light”

Usually said to the girl being kicked out, as if that’s any consolation. I’d rather hear, “You have so much booty” than “You have so much light”.

“You need to smile with your eyes”

I tried this. It doesn’t work. You look maniacal. It’s not smiling it’s creasing up your face funny. I prefer the dead in the eyes look, you glaze over and pretend your somewhere else.

“Don’t just act like a model, be a model”

Don’t blame the girls for not understanding what the hell she’s going on about. Isn’t that what modelling is, pretending, posing – unless Tyra has invented Method Modelling! Don’t pretend to be a tree, be the tree.

‘Ok, now your thinking”

Normally said when a model is posing, and they go – wait, you are thinking to much. Well if it were me and I had to pose without thinking I would be basically stood still. Or lying down. Because you have to think surely, even the best models think about how to post? Yes? No? What do I know, I never got past Miss Pearl Soap circa 1987

“It’s too hoochie”

Tyra, you are the biggest HOOCH out there!

Anyway I did like Marjorie:

But she’s lost it. So now I like McKey:

Her real name is Brittany but rather than make an effort, Tyra made her change her damn name! Now it’s gonna stick!

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