You roast the chicken, not yourself: Calypso Deep Tan Original Carrot Oil

I was searching eBay for some SPF protection for my hair and scalp, when I spotted this Calypso Deep Tan Original Carrot Oil with SPF….0.

Man, do they still make this stuff? I remember when the girls at school used to cover themselves in vegetable oil and burn themselves in the “front” garden, over a sunny weekend in the pursuit of a tan.

They’d turn up at school nice and toasty the for the next week, sore, pink and peeling.

Let’s see, that was 10 years ago…I’ll take a guess and say my skin is in much better nick than theirs.

Anyway, so here is the offending bottle – it’s very presence irritates me:


Why? Because Calypso Deep Tan original carrot oil comes in SPF 0, 2 and 4 yet it has the cheek to call itself ‘sun protection’. In the case of the ‘original’ (spf 0) it isn’t sun protection at all, more of a cooking oil to baste ones self in.

Calypso carrot oil “which intensifies the sun’s rays, accelerating your skin’s natural process.” – you mean the ageing process, right?

Vanity aside, there is of course the health aspect – people bang on about sun protection for a good reason and I can’t believe people still put getting a tan over their own health. Hello! There is plenty of fake tan out there if being dark is yer thing.

For the people who are reading this and are donning the Eric Cartman voice, “It’s my skin, I do what I wannn [sic]”, I have just two words for you: Malignant Melanoma.

Just a year ago I found a very strange mole on my arm I’d never seen before. It changed shape, it wept, it was crusty and sore. I rarely expose that part of my body to the sun – only once in my life have I sunbathed, but even so, it was a little scary.

I kept going back to the doctors until they sent me to a specialist who told me it was definitely nothing. Weird thing is, the mole fell off after he saw it and it’s just a small freckle. Nevertheless, the one time I let myself burn was etched in my memory.

Meanwhile, I found a chart that shows how likely you are to burn, depending on your skin colour/type:


For the record, I would be in group 5, “very low inclination to sunburn” – not at all true. The one time I sunbathed (mentioned above) my back was so burnt I could barely move for days. Never again.

My point is:

Use your suncream if you are going on holiday! Why burn? Why put yourself under risk, you will still get a tan with a decent SPF sun cream.


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