Three Network – a pile of rubbish!

Another one of those ranty posts – I can’t believe how crap the 3 customer services are! 3 are a relatively new phone/internet network who make fairly eyecatching adverts but have barely any customers because although they have good deals, everyone I know with a 3 phone always moans about how it always cuts out halfway through

a sentence.  See how I did that?!

Anyway very simple request.  Needed to top up my mobile broadband.  It’s a dongle you plug into your USB then you get medium speed internet, everywhere! So quite a good little contraption.  Bear in mind your credit only lasts 1 month, and is the same as normal top up vouchers.

So I’m not at home. I don’t have internet. I try to top up the dongle but with no credit I can’t get online to top up. So I call the customer services to ask if it can be topped up over the phone (bearing in mind its for the internet not for phone credit).

Ring Ring

Hello! I was wondering if I can top up mobile broadband over the phone?

Yes you can top up your phone

Yes, can I top it up for mobile broadband

The what

The mobile broadband dongle

Oh…wait please  *on hold…5 mins later* Let me put you through to another department

Ok thanks

Hello Accounts

Hi I’d like to top up my mobile broadband

Do you have a top up voucher


Ok you have come through to the wrong department.  One moment please *hold…5 minutes later*

Hi, this is billing

Hello, I’d like to top up my mobile broadband

The what

The mobile broadband dongle

Oh, you’ve come through to the wrong deparment

Oh, I’ve been passed on twice now.  Can you just tell me if I can top up the mobile broadband over the phone?

What is your account password

There isn’t one

There isn’t one?

There isn’t one

There isn’t one?

There’s no password because I haven’t registered before and its a pay as you go dongle, its not on contract

Ok, then I need to put you to another department

*hold…ten minutes*

*Indian Call Centre***

Hello ma’am can I take you account details

I don’t have any

I need to speak to the account holder

Look, all I want to know is if I can top up over the phone for my mobile broadband

The what?

The mobile broadband you buy a dongle for

Oh no you can’t

Ok then that’s fine.  I will log on somewhere else and top up the dongle

Whats the number for the sim card?

*finds it, reads it out*

I need the account details for this number

There aren’t any

I need to speak to an account holder

I am the account holder- well I own it if that’s what you mean

I need to speak to the account holder

I own the number

Whats your name

*tells name*

Nope. Not that name

*says boyfriends name*

Nope. Not that name

Well, sorry, then, its not registered. Its new you see and its pay as you go.

I need the account holder name

It’s pay as you go, it has no account holder name

I need the account holder name or I can’t talk to you

That’s fine, I will go and top up

Wait, please give me the number on the Sim Card (the IMEI)

Ok…..*reads out*

No, nothing.  I need to speak to the account holder

I own the dongle

Where did you buy it

The shop

Did you buy it

Yes I bought it

When did you buy it


When did you last top it up

I haven’t

When did you last log on

I haven’t

Who is the account holder

No one

Did you buy this? What is the name of the shop?


Where is this located. Where is you reciept?

OOOOKKKKKK.  Are you insinuating that I stole this? I don’t know what the hell you are talking about but I bought this, I spend £80 on this piece of crap and all I want to do is give you more money by topping it up. I didn’t steal it, I bought it, I have the recipet but you know what, I don’t have it with me right now.  I am going to put the phone down and top up the credit on a computer now, since you have wasted the last half an hour of my life and you better not have messed up the number or put any kind of block on it because if you are I will make sure your punished. *click*

I actually said that, “I will make sure your punished” as if I have the power of voo doo or something.

One hour later, at home, with internet connection, topped up in 10 minutes.

What was I saying? Oh I hate 3 network.  Don’t bother with them – the other networks are bad, but they ain’t as bad as this.

** I have nothing against foreign call centres, I think a lot of the staff do their best but it does annoy me when the staff cannot communicate with me or cannot understand or make out what I am trying to say.  I have also noticed that when the British staff can’t hack it anymore they pass me on to Indian call centre staff because presumably, they can take the rollocking.

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  1. Zereen says

    I have the same problem with almost every call centre I’ve ever called. The worst is British Gas!! It also costs you to phone them to get nowhere!!! It is so frustrating!!!!! I have one of those mobile contracts through the internet that you claim back every 3 months – try calling them and I can guarantee you’ll be ripping your hair out. What’s even worse is when they say that something’s sorted and it hasn’t and the next time you call up about it, there is no note on the system about your previous conversation! Maybe we should stand outside call centres with banners!!! By the way Megan is absolutely adorable!!!