The Apprentice UK

This is probably utterly boring for anyone who isn’t in the UK, but The Apprentice is back!

In the UK we have Sir Alan Sugar, and glorified garden gnome who is in charge of a 800 million empire – I mean garden.

The candidates are uber annoying this year. Let’s identify the most annoying;

Sacked in week 1, Nicholas de Lacy-Brown. At 23, he is a trainee Barrister. Whatever, anyone with a name like de Lacy-Brown deserves to be sacked.

Nick likes art. “Some people compare me to Dali.”

Yes, and some people compare me to Cindy Crawford.

Also in the boardroom was Raef Bjayou. When I first saw his name, I thought my dyslexia had got worse again, but no, that really is his name.

Says Ralph:

“I am a terrific conversationalist and raconteur with stories to tell…”

Someone, somewhere, loves him:

Sara Dhada has eyes that would outstare a waxwork doll. I am scared, very scared. Oh and she has a really annoying squeaky voice. Girls! Get your squeaky voices to-ge-ther.

Lucinda Ledgerwood is 31. And I’m….12?

Alex Wotherspoon, not Witherspoon, needs to brush his damn hair. What is with the men this year? Grooming, people:

Claire Young, who is luminous orange on the TV, was team leader. I have insider knoweldge that this lady was sacked from her last job so…how they vet their candidates, I don’t know:

Mate, your in the wrong reality TV queue, you want the one for ‘Make a Boyband':

I don’t know why, but this guy is the spitting image of Matt Lucas (from Little Britan):

Michael Sophocles, possibly a descendent of THE Sophocles, loves to be arrogant and has hair like a 20s flapper:

Mmm! This is what I call the creme of Britian! Not!

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  1. Chica says

    It was so brilliant – ‘I fall into the educated camp’
    ‘Are you saying i’m uneducated?’
    ‘No, i was just guessing’
    That boardroom had me in stitches!!

    Plus..where the hell did they get Raef from? Surely he is not a real person!

  2. petitebelle says

    i am laughing out loud from your commentary. It’s hard to imagine that the British version is even worse than the American one.

  3. Row says


    That was hilarious!! I seriously need to do a week by week commentary or something for The Apprentice this year.

    Raef is just like – woah.

  4. Row says

    Petitebelle – I’ve only seen a few episodes of the American one and that was quite funny. I find the British one funnier, I think, because Americans on that show are naturally louder, very confident, have don’t problems with confrontation. Brits, I think have to try and be like that, as opposed to it coming naturally. Stiff upper lip and all that. I think thats why when it comes to the boardroom and things, they just crumble in but in a funny way.

  5. Anonymous says

    Laugh-out-loud funny post! 😀 Seriously though, how do all these people end up on the show?!