Sooooo my worst nightmare, Boris Johnson has appeared, JACKET OPEN. You can’t miss him and his big fat gut because he’s the ONLY MAN on the stage with his white shirt popping out. He can’t wave a flag properly either. *cringe*. You only have yourself to blame London, you thought it would be funny voting him in didn’t you? Well we up North will take no responsibility for him.
A bunch of kids have appeared – clearly British. Nice mix of races, always pushing the diversity thing, is our London even when it is painfully obvious; someone black, indian, pakistani, white, chinese, disabled, punk, emo, city worker. They do some dance, a bit messily but very similar to the kind of thing they do for Comic Relief or the ending of Big Brother.
A red bus appears. Because no one knows what a red bus is. Because it is red its special. Because buses in London are all red, and clean and everyone uses the bus, not the dirty smelly tube.
A little girl brings out a football. She’s very cute. A football….I wonder who will appear later with the ball?
Jimmy Page. Ok, bit of a legend. Leona Lewis! Nothing against the girl but she’s dressed like a wedding cake topping and blearing out muffled noise. There’s a reason why the DIVAS and Opera singers are dragged out for this kind of thing – their voices travel. And she might not even BE big in four years time. Yawnnnnn.
David Beckham has appeared. Wooo! David Beckham! Who gave up real football to go to America to play “soccer” and bare his bulge in various underwear adverts. There’s a man who is dedicated to his sport. Nice cheap way to get cheers since everyone knows the Beckham creature. Urgh. I hope the real 2012 opening ceremony is not full of rubbish stars – god knows it cost enough, we should have real dancers not the members of National Youth Theatre who are only doing it because they were rejected by Hollyoaks (Hollyoaks is a British teatime sort of soap, possibly the worst show that has ever existed for its storylines, acting, everything).
Placido Domingo and a opera singer who looks like a lantern. Yawn. Boris Johnson has tired me out. I have no energy left.
Remember the ugly 2012 logo?:
Someone told me today it looked Lisa Simpson doing something….unmentionable. Do you see it? Now I can’t get the damn image out of my head!
Tired myself out with moaning. Must be hormones. Forgive me.
* Jackie Chan has appeared. The other half has waited 16 days to see Jackie Chan, he loves him for some weird reason.