This is Miss Jocelyn, not a real traffic warden.
So today when my other half picked me up from work, we had a quick chat as there was something I had to sort out..10 seconds tops. Comes along a hatchet faced demon, yes, a traffic warden – tiny thing, resembled hitler, had terrible skin.
YOU CAN’T PARK HERE!
She says agressively. Actually, what I wanted to say, was this parking bay has been reserved for the company I work for so I can park here – instead I politely smile and all that whilst she stands INCHES from the car, and I mean inches glaring at me. So I glare back. I glare at her prune face and we have a stare off…bitch knows how to glare, she’s made a living out of it. So I decide to get out of the car and wait for someone – see she sees me open the door but doesn’t move.
I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to ram the car door into her – so I did. Can you image the look of death she gave me then?
Oh sorry, I said nicely.
Whilst the boyf circles the building another car parks up. This time though, she doesn’t order him to go – she radio’s up the city council to confirm if this nice man in his Audi can wait there – oh how convenient! he can! but 10 seconds ago we couldn’t!
Yes, yes, don’t worry. A venomous letter is being written as we speak – not that the council will do anything about it. Still, if I’ve learnt anything today, it’s if you feel that ramming a door into someone will make you feel better, then do it!*
*its a joke. Don’t ram the door into your boss tomorrow then blame me for it.