Oscar Beauty = Your Doin’ it Wrong

The Oscar’s were dull this year – apart from Daniel Craig’s Missus’ disgraceful pink dress, everything was safe and boring.

Nevertheless let’s do some Oscar beauty (not very detailed) analysis.

Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

Beyonce looked like a chubby faced piggy. Did she have to sweep her hair back like that? Did you see her dress? It was UGLY. Apart from a better stylist, what did Beyonce need some of?

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She needed some contour! Like Nars Rapa Nui Bronzer Multiple will contour’s Beyonce’s skin nicely.

Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

Very fond of Amy Adams, and I like her weird necklace. She always looks like she’s been weeping though.

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She needs some Optrex, badly.

Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

Penelope Cruz still looks like a duck and I HATE her slightly too short fringe. I should I know, I have trimmed mine ever so slightly too short before and it’s just wrong. She needs some miracle for for her fringe.

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How about some long hair lovers shampoo to promote growth?!

Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

I love Marion but that lipstick is too dark. And that hair makes her look like a cone head.


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Some Illmasqua lip gloss in Absorb will lighten the lip colour and add some gloss.

Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

Tilda, Tilda, Tilda. Tilda is a brand of long grain rice, you know. I get it, she’s one of a kind etc. but I just want to go over and put some mascara on her.

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Majolica Majorca’s new mascara is fab!

Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

I love Meryl, but she does look a teeny weeny bit tired here. Loved her in Doubt. I wish she won.

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Dremu Deception helps hide wrinkles!

Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

Nothing wrong with Natalie’s make up, at least it’s interesting but I don’t like the front of her head. That’s what happens to me when I have had my headband in for too long when washing my face.

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Some good wax will sort the hair – check out the Shu Uemura Art of Hair range. It’s amazing!

Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

Angelina was such a vision! I love her green earrings! She did look like she was made of wax though.

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WD40 gets most stiff things moving again:

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Oscar Beauty Diagnosis:

Demonic, just demonic.

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Have you ever taken the hell test? I was fairly deep into hell – but I did answer honestly :) If you take it, tell me what circle you ended up in in the comments!

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  1. says

    5th circle….

    haha I agree with most of what you said about the celebrities. Natalie Portman had one of the few looks i liked though.

    • Row says

      Hey Blu!

      5th circle?! Not bad, not bad. A friend of mine was actually in purgatory or something and would be sent to heaven – shes that good apparently. Agreed, Natalie looked funky.

  2. says

    Every year it’s the same boring make up – do people realise that eyeshadows come in COLOURS? Natalie was the only one who tried something other than yawn.
    Even though Angelina did the safe make up she did look gorgeous as usual. Ah to have her face!

    • Row says

      Hey Chica

      Tis true. Even with a pot of wax and just a dab of eyeliner, Angelia is still a beautiful vision! I agree at least Natalie was funky and different.

  3. says

    Wow, I only got as far as purgatory, ner ner :oP – I do go to church though so I think that gave me a lot of brownie points.
    Apparently out of the circles I would be in 2 – Lust as I matched high with that one – ooh :)
    Suprised given the amount I spend on make up i don’t need and eating pizza I’m not closer to 3 though!
    Bet you’re 7th circle Row :oP I can see how anyone would be driven there if they live in the UK!!!

    • Row says

      Hey Chica

      Tut! Even when I LIED I didn’t make it to purgatory! Do you know what I think I am in the 7th circle…is it the burning one..hmmm you may know me too well!

  4. says

    I have no idea how, I said I was good at lying, that I’d stolen from work(only post its!!), that I thought I deserved to spend all my money on myself AND that I think ill of much of humanity….and I still got to purgatory. I’m standing by my thinking that because I go to church I’m safe on that test! Hee hee ^_^

    • Row says

      Hey Chica!

      I don’t get it!!! My friend at work also ended up in Purgatory but she doesn’t go to church. Bah humbug. I particuraly like the fornicating questions. That’s it now I am rehashing my life, I will get into Purgatory?!

  5. says

    Awesome review! I’ve been looking for a post like this for a while. Ha! LOL @ Miley!!!
    Amy Adams does look like she’s been weeping.

    • Row says

      Hey Abby

      I don’t know – I quite like Amy and I wanted her to win, but she looks like she’s been crying for years!