Nigella Lawson should measure stuff properly


The boyfriend has insisted that I cover his earlier cock up by announcing that he is now Heston Blumenthal.

Nigella’s Recipe is:

100g Caster Sugar
4 Tablespoons of Golden Syrup
1 and half tsp Bicarbonate of Soda

Boyf says 2 tsp of soda and 2 tablespoons of syrup works better and indeed, I am eating some very light, crispy, tasty cinder toffee (hokey pokey). I must also add that this is third attempt.

So Nigella makes honey comb or “hokey pokey” on her show tonight.

Ooh great says the boyf, let me go out and buy some caster sugar and golden syrup right now so we can make it (yes we are THAT greedy). He follows Nigella’s instructions to a T and what happens?

Well firstly, when Nigella makes things she chucks it in with abandon. It works. When you are at home FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS it doesn’t work so well Boyf tried, bless him. We end up with a plate of the stickiest gloopy mess ever. Its not light light a crunchie bar, its heavy, its like tar.

Just whack it I say, whack it with something. Sure, he says whacking it with a pan. Like you do. CRACK! goes my family heirloom* plate – because that’s what people do, make honey comb on a non greased ceramic plate.

So now I’m here at 1am sucking on solid golden syrup that fizzles because of the over use of bicarbonate of soda on half of a plate. Boyfriend has a genius idea that he will melt the solution down in the microwave so we can sit there and eat the mixture…your on your own, chubby I say.

Oh Nigella. This isn’t the first time I’ve followed one of her recipes and its gone Pete Tong. I urge you all to try her recipes out before serving it to your boss at a dinner party or a potential date.

I’m also watching the new Indian Jones – boy it’s lame.  I don’t see the appeal of Sheila Booth**, do you girls?  He looks like the bottom half of his face stopped forming.  Please, no comparisons to The Bale and his funny mouth.

*It wasn’t really a heirloom, it was 59p from Ikea, but still.

** Shia Le Bouf

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  1. says

    I still can believe that Sheila Booth (hehe, good one) was that cute lil’ fella with curly hair in Even Stevens (can’t remember if it’s from Disney or Nickelodeon). He was so much cuter then.

  2. says

    Nigella doesn’t really have legitimate/concrete recipes , so you’re not alone in that complaint. That said, I’m not sure how many folks are actually watching the show for the recipes; it’s akin to reading Playboy for the articles. No, that’s not a fair comparison –Playboy has great articles, but Nigella has crap recipes.

  3. Medina says

    Bale doesn’t have a funny mouth! Besides with another mouth he wouldn’t look as moody, brooding, dark, etc so wouldn’t be Bale but another buff dumbo. His mouth is his bit of Jeremy Irons which is what makes him so convincing in his psychotic roles.

  4. Li says

    Haha I told a lad I like that he looks like Jeremy Irons and Christian Bale, I never thought I’d ever see someone else make the same kind of comparison! And as for Shia La Beouf. Buffting!

  5. Janet says

    LOL You’re very funny. I read your blog to my husband and we were both laughing at your experience. :)