Illamasqua Nail Quill: Too many jokes, not enough time

Look, let’s face it – I’m a two coats and top coat kinda girl, so it always take me a while to comprehend strange nail accessories and art.

I’m talking about fake nails and big massive stick on chunky things that look like they could fall into your baguette at any moment. I’m talking- how the hell do you do ANYTHING with those nails? type inventions. (I do appreciate the painted on cute designs though).

So for something completely different, check out Illamasqua’s Nail Quills!


They say;

Two Nail Quills per set, designed to be worn on either thumb, are a perfect matt black with a silver tip. Presented in a beautiful gift box they come complete with nail tabs and glue, these are set to become real collectors items.

And ALL I could think of was Cartman:


A closer look:#alttext#

Yeah, it looks like a fountain pen nib. Shame you can’t write with them…

Look, I’m just not into fake nails.

Reason one – they destroy your natural nail and I have looked under a microscope to look at someone’s nails (who wears falsies) and the bacterial growth…….yak!

Secondly, my mother calls excessively long nails (translated) ‘ghost-nails’ (it sounds better in Chinese). Because when people die their nails keep growing right? That’s what excessively long nails looks like to her. And that’s what they remind me of. (Unless you are one posh corpse with someone who digs you up just to give your nails a trim….)

But that’s just me.

So what do you think of these Quill nails?

Me: I think they are creative and different. I wouldn’t wear them because…well can you eat a doner kebab with these things on? I thought not. I’m also too clumsy, I scratch to hard, I point at things and someone would lose an eye (yes, I point with my thumbs).

These cost £32 for a set of two.

Would you indulge?

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  1. says

    I’ve done false nails before (the cheap drugstore kind that end up falling off after 3 days Xp) but this looks ridiculous. I imagine that with nails like that on your thumb, you would not be able to do even simple stuff like dial on a phone or eat with a fork without stabbing yourself/someone else.

  2. Mika says

    That’s me in the picture! These nails are not MEANT to be practical, it’s a statement…daring to be different! They are a ‘one night’ application, you use them like false eyelashes so there is no trouble with bacteria under the nails as you shouldn’t wear them for days at a time.
    They aren’t convenient but looking glam isn’t easy! These aren’t doner kebab accessories!!! X

    • Row says

      Hi Mika

      Ok ok so you look fierce in them, I will conceede to that :) Got to admit they’d be good for rude itches, right? x