Hate your big wide nose? Try the nose roller

As if the Cleopatra nose clip (yes, I bought it) wasn’t stupid enough, I have now found the Nose Roller invention that squeezes your big, wide, inadequate Asian nose into a Victora Beckham (I swear, I haven’t got it in for her this week) piggy nose:

BIBANA ROLLER (Nose Shape) on eBay (end time 18-Sep-09 10_42_48 BST).jpg

Wanna see how to use it?…Why, like rollers!:

BIBANA ROLLER (Nose Shape) on eBay (end time 18-Sep-09 10_42_48 BST)-1.jpg

Let’s face it, if this worked, there wouldn’t be so many middle aged, hairy cosmetic surgeons driving around in fancy Porches that look too small for them. Nevertheless…wishful thinking.

BIBANA ROLLER (Nose Shape) on eBay (end time 18-Sep-09 10_42_48 BST)-2.jpg

I didn’t actually buy this (but you can here) – I can’t be bothered trying to change every damn little imperfection of my face or body anymore, I have far more pressing matters than how this or that looks.

But what about you? Would you roll your nose?

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  1. says

    That’s hilarious…

    Along the same lines: When I was younger, I hated my slightly split chin (you know, the kind that looks like a butt?) I would squeeze my chin with my fingers, convinced that this would help my skin/mandible form a “normal chin”. It didn’t work–big surprise!

    • Row says

      Hey Marylin!

      A bum chin! I have a bum chin too – it was always a bum chin or a cherry chin!!!!

      Well when I was younger my gran used to say that if you squeezed a kids nippled they’d get big boobs so she said she did this to me a few times (sounds pervy but its not, just a crazy Chinese thing) and sure enough – ka-bom! I have massive boobs!

      The point to this comment is…..don’t go round squeezing things!

    • Row says

      Now now Heather!

      Asian women are known for beautiful skin, long silky dark hair etc. etc. Everyone has their positives 😀

  2. EchelonXx says

    Heather, Heather, Heather.
    Asians are one of the most beautiful races on the planet.
    Tiny frames, low nose bridges, full lips…face it. There are no ugly asians. You’re all gorgeous :)

  3. ??? says

    I am born a pure Chinese/Japanese,
    but i do not have a low nose bridge or full lips…
    Only small but high nose bridge and a small lips ( -” – );

  4. says

    A product that actually narrows your nose instantly and gives you a temporary nose job is NoseSecret instant nose correcting inserts from Amazon and NoseSecret.com – the product website has a lot of information and before-and-after-pics. These nose inserts are not visible when you wear them.