(For my regulars, they will know I am a bit of a complaint letter pro. I don’t do it just because, I only do it if I feel quite strongly that the HQ should know about poor service/staff. Anyway….)
So, about…oooh, half an hour ago, I got the chocolate craving, so Mr Candy went out to get me a Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut bar for me – alas….there were barely any nuts in mine and about one raisin! In the old days it was like crunch crunch through the nuts.
Being a saddo, I twittered this, and fellow twitterer @zoella told me that Cadbury’s are pretty good with complaints so I rustled this up in 5 mins and have sent it off.
Below is exactly what I sent them. Shall I let you know how they respond?
Dear Cadburys,
I’m writing this email, not trying to offend,
But I’m eating a Fruit & Nut Bar and its driving me round the bend -
I sent out the Mr, because I needed some nuts,
“How about a Wispa instead?”
I said “No – now move your fat butt.”
Now I’ve eaten almost half whilst watching tv,
But the only nut I’ve found was the size of a pea.
What about the raisins? I need my five a day -
But I can’t see any – I won’t get vitamins this way!
So I hope you can tell me where the nuts have all gone,
The LOT code is L-9-2-3-0-N and B-1
Rowena
Seamus Heaney should be scared, right?
Was I right to complain?
Will they send round the men in white coats?
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Haha that is genius! Maybe they’ll hire you as Quality Control Manager or Advertising Exec!
You’ve been rehearsing this for weeks, haven’t you?
if i were in their complaints department an email like this would totally make my day!
Haha classy rant email if ever I seen one! Would love to see the person’s face reading that in the morning
keep us posted!xx
Kim – As long as they pay me in Chocolate!
Vicky – No it took me about ooh 5 minutes. I assure you, it would be a masterpiece if I had weeks to do it
Blue – Yeah no point sending another moan I thought, may as well make it fun
Kassandra – I’ll let you know. I wish I got in a ffs tho! Just for you!x
I bet you could do this in your sleep!
cute complaint! I would be charmed if I were them.
the other day I bought a kitkat senses.
when I opened the wrapper it was a normal kitkat
can you please tell me what happened???
Well Dan either:
1. They put a plain Kit Kat in the wrong wrapper
2. Your tastebuds are off
3. Kit Kat Senses is actually rubbish and doesn’t taste of anything