Strange Bust Enhancing Beauty Treatments: Gum and F-Cup Cookies

Here’s a tip. If you’re going to research ‘Breast Enhancements’ or anything with the word ‘Boob’, ‘Baps’ or ‘Babylons’ then make sure your Google Safe Search is ON.

My eyes.

So were talking boobies today – I was doing my usual look for unusual beauty gadgets trawl when I noticed some bust enhancing gum. I generally ignore things like that but then I noticed there were tons and tons of products made just for breast enhancement.

marge.jpg

Has Marge always had tittays? Hmmm.

Whats interesting is how unusual the products are. I mean, a Penis Pump I sort of get. Its stupid, but I get it – it physically stretches and enlarges, so at least theres a temporary physical difference.

But cookies, gum, tea and cakes that increase the boobs? Not just a bit either, as you can see these products are boldly named F-Cups! We’re talking Watermelons, not Honeydew.

F-cup Cookies with Pueraria Mirifica for Breast Enhancement.jpg

Cookie Ingredients is as follows:

Ingredients: Flour, semi-chocolate, margarine, soybean milk powder, liquid bean curd (tofu), shortening*, powdered skim milk, cocoa powder, dried egg whites, starch, soybean powder, collagen, Pueraria Mirifica [50 mg per cook¡e], macca powder, sweeteners (sorbitol), baking powder (leavening agent), emulsifying agent (made from soybeans), spice, perfume (flavoring), and artificial color (Annatto and Caroten), pectin. I’m guessing its not the flour or cocoa powder doing the magic, so it must be the Pueraria Mirifica which contains contains Phytoestrogens.

According to Wikipedia (sorry) studies are the effect of phytoestrogens is inconclusive – “The generally accepted position on this topic is that phytoestrogens may be beneficial for healthy females and that females with known breast cancer should be aware of potential risks and consider avoiding consumption until more information is available.”

Take of that what you will.

But anyway, less science, more boobs.

F-cup Cake with Pueraria Mirifica for Breast Enhancement.jpg

I read somewhere that with these cakes the fat will go straight to your boobs, not you say, your ass, your batwings, your double chin – oh no – this is super fat and it knows where to target!

For the record I’d love to have a bigger bum I’d happy have some fat transfer from boob to bum.

So anyway, does this stuff work?

I’m pretty sure there’s no conclusive proof on this crap, otherwise there’d be a lot of Harley Street Surgeons trading in their Bentleys right now. But psychologically, it could make you feel better, more confident, puff your chest out more (then people will be looking at your boobs).

That’s what a lot of medicine/therapies is isn’t it? Its as much about positive mental attitude as it is about medicine (unless you have Herpes, in which case no prayers are going to help you, go to the doctor).

F Cup Cookies .jpg

But are you going to buy it, Rowena?

I may be the queen of buying crap but this is one I will miss, for I already have two hefty baps on my frame. For anyone who is interested in having big boobs through surgery (or indeed F-Cup Cakes) I have just one word for you – Ibuprofen, for when you realise how bad the back ache is from carrying around the extra weight on your front end.

Would you try these F Cup products? Or any thing else to enhance your boobs?

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Comments

  1. Alix says

    That is hilarious. And I, too, would gladly shift some avoirdupois and stick it in my nonexistent backside!

  2. liloo says

    @alix: what the heck is avoirdupois?
    well disappointed, was expecting some swatches on the subject matter :P

  3. says

    I’ve seen these at the local Sasa and always thought they were rather funny. I don’t need help in that department but I can see why women would buy it. I have a few small breasted friends who complain about their lack of boobs. I’ll be sure to recommend the cookies to them :-)

  4. says

    *amused smile* I pass also!!

    ty Rowena for yet another interesting post on beauty trends, it’s amazing what people will come up with these days for money, LOL…

  5. mint says

    lol, I’ve seen youtube clips if this product and it’s really hilarious. This is so funny to talk about but I wouldn’t try it myself. LOL

  6. says

    I already have D-Cups, so the unless the folks at “F-Cup” come up with a pastry that makes them perkier, I’ll pass.

  7. crissy k says

    lol! I guess these make sense my boobies do increase when i gain weight…as does everything else. I tried those bust firming creams….but they were all crap. I have double Ds and that’s big enough for me. My cousin has F cups and she is usually suffering from back pain. She has breast reduction on her list of things to do!