TAGS: General •
LE Johnathan Saunders Set
Sealed up so here’s what it looks like inside:
All items are new.
Answer this question (put the answer in the comment box!):
-
Tell me your best joke. I know it’s not a question, but ya know…
You can enter more than one competition over the next ten days.
Rules:
You need to be human
You can live anywhere in the world
You can be any sex, race, size etc. etc.
You can enter as many competitions as you like.
The products are new and unused but I cannot guarantee you won’t have an allergic reaction – speak the the manufacturer, not me!
I will announce all winners after the 1st January and ship shortly after.
I will pay for shipping costs, although not recorded – it’s very expensive you know.
I will not use your email address for anything dodgy, mainly because I don’t know how.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
A man went to his local zoo, and he was dissapointed to only find a single dog there. It was a shihtzu…..
I don’t know jokes much…but..watch anything by Dane Cook and that’s my answer. xD
I gotta go with some Rodney Dangerfield:
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.
My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him, “If you don’t mind, I’d like a second opinion.” He said, “All right. You’re ugly too!”
This is a translation of the silliest joke I’ve ever made up….
What do you call an emo that is lost?
N-emo.
My friends told me to give up making jokes after this one.
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That’s terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
Not really a joke, but I think it’s funny.
My dad was heading out the day after Christmas, so I asked where he was off to. He said he was going shopping, so I reminded him to bring the TJMaxx giftcard I had gifted him the day before. He tells me that he wasn’t going to TJMaxx, so it’ll be fine.
2 hours later, he comes back with 2 big bags from Marshall’s, TJMaxx’s sister store, which is also located right below TJMaxx.
My best joke? I don’t really have one so I’ll use a classic(it’s my favorite) I shot an elephant in my pajamas! How it got in my pajamas? I’ll never know
I’ll write something related to makeup =D
Why did the blonde put makeup on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said “Are you going to help?” I said “No, six should be enough.”
This was a popular joke in my country when our former president, a man a bit healthy and heavy than the usual. You know what im trying to say. he was advised by his doctor only to eat meats/animal by products that swims or is found in the water. the next day the doctor visited him, he saw the president in the pool trying to teach the pig to swim.
Q. Why are men like mascara?
A. Because they usually run at the first sign of emotion!
Kid: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me?
Kid: No.
This may be offensive to red-heads -___-
Whats the difference between a ginga and a brick?
The brick gets laid.
A man is talking to God.
The man: “God, how long is a million years?”
God: “To me, it’s about a minute.”
The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God: “To me it’s a penny.”
The man: “God, may I have a penny?”
God: “Wait a minute.”
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
yeah, that’s just about my only joke
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
~whats balck and white and red all over?
~a sunburned zebra!!
hmm…did you announce this one? I was rather looking forward to hear the results on it but maybe i missed it?
Announced! What would I do if my readers didn’t remind of stuff